Madame Moussaude's "Made of Muggles" Emporium -
Now Service Muggle Pus Pasties!
Now Service Muggle Pus Pasties!
The Unforgivables - Come See a Live Demonstration
of the "Prolapsed Anus" Curse
of the "Prolapsed Anus" Curse
Me dad's a muggle, mum's a witch, i'll be yer bitch and scratch that itch ;)
Looking to get filthy ya dirty degenerates? Well mud is on the menu for all you laddies - and lassies ;) - with the right amount of galleons
You're one floo powder trip away from the most flexible half breed this side of Hogsmeade...
Send an Owl to the Knockturn Post Office - #134
Wanted: someone stealthy and discreet, preferably a Hogwarts student.
Me last batch of polyjuice ran dry. Had meself quite the time downing all of those...
The new list is a bit more... adventurous than the last. Let's just say, I've gotten to know the "standard polyjuice targets" very, very well. It's time to explore me options - I've a hankerin for a bit more of the ol' taboo.
Prefer you get me hair (any hair will do). Price of sample is next to each target. You can find me at the Linky Loo, every Monday-Thursday from 1pm - 6pm.
ELLO THERE!
Are YOU preparing to pass onto the great beyond? Whether you're old or just done with it all, don't matter to me. I am simply here to assure that you are setting yourself up for the most pleasurable afterlife imaginable!
My name is Stussy Succulent, and this all started back when I was just a wee 2nd year Slytherin. You see, our rival house had this one ghost named Nearly Headless Nick (NHN for short). Poor chap was the most ill-starred spectral I've ever met. Whatever bastards lobbed of his noggin didn't do a very thorough job, and he was left with a insufferable piece of neck meat keeping his coconut connected.
You may be wondering why this matters... I meself didn't know until one fateful Autumn night. As I walked the grounds, I stumbled upon a strange festivity of sorts that the fully-headless ghosts of Hogwarts participate in: The Headless Hunt. The hunt had been mentioned to me in passing as something that this gang of ghouls did for sport: headless bowling, head polo... ya know, child-appropriate activities. It was also well known that Ol' NHN was not allowed to participate, given his condition. Not the end of the world missing out no some simple playtime... except for the fact that, the Headless Hunt is ACTUALLY A FULL ON PHANTASM ORGY.
GHOSTS POPPING OF THEIR HEADS AND FUCKING THEIR OWN MOUTHS, GOBBLING THEIR COCKS, POLISHING OFF THEIR BALLS. TAKING TURNS RAILING EACH OTHERS FACES. TREATING EACH OTHERS HAIRY ASSHOLES LIKE SOFT SERVE MACHINES. GOING THREE DEEP ON THE LARGER OF THE DEAD DONGS AND KNAWING ON THEM LIKE CORN COBS. SPRAYING ECTOPLASM INTO EACH OTHERS MOUTHS, ONLY TO HAVE IT DRIP DOWN THROUGH THEIR SEVERED THROAT HOLE AND INTO ANOTHER HEAD'S MOUTH THAT IS HELD RIGHT UNDER THE THROAT HOLE (they call this the "Headless Centipede" and sometimes start with the cum occuring ~10 meters in the air, hitting atleast 20 different mouths and necks on the way to the Earth below).
Trust me: you do NOT want to miss out on this opportunity. You can do this shit for an ETERNITY. BUT you gotta get it done RIGHT. Don't want to end up like NHN!!!
So the deal is, 100 galleons, and I will make the nicest, cleanest cut possible, right below the ol' adams apple. I look forward to serving you. Knockturn Post Office #944
Available for all nefarious purposes. Will use the unforgivable curses indiscriminately. Speak with Toby at the Krikey's to arrange a meetup.
I got meself a liddle problem. you see. me snake. he a reeeaaalll bad fellah. he's always popping into places he shouldn't. yew know what i fink his problem is? he needs a liddle treat. ooooohh yeah. daddy needs a good TONGIN. He needs a sweet little parseltongue to really tell him what a BAD BOY HE IS. OOHHH YEAH. SHIT.
ill be outside of the shrieking shack all day
Don't actually have any coupons you feckin wanker. Yo wont fecking coupons?! Go to Diagon Alley you NINNY.
I got invisibility cloaks for wacking off the corner, I got essence of unicorn dick, I got Professor McGonagalls minge hair (don't tell that other feckin weirdo that i've seen post on here, fecking gives me the willies, he aint gettin shite).
I got nudes of Ollivander, I got the Order of the Phoenix deleted scene where Harry gives Cho a little pokin in her pasty.
What more do you want?
Well come by, I prob got it! - 3rd floor of building 1092, second left from stairs